College days...

So, at the persuasion of the 2 people that actually read my blog (you know who you are...haha), I decided to update it and let you know how college is going. Well, I am busy as usual; that is actually why I haven't gotten on here since I moved in. Oops. Anyway, college is fantastic. Pretty much everything I thought it would be. All the partying, you know. NOT!!!!!! Well, sure there is plenty of that here, but I have not experienced it. Mom got a little taste of culture shock on the day that she dropped me off. She wasn't ready for the sight of people partying in broad daylight along side the road holding signs that said, "Honk and we'll drink." and "Drop your daughters off here." OUCH! That was definitely a rude awakening for both of us. Other than that though, I haven't had too much of a run in with it. Pretty much like high school. It happens.

On a much brighter note, I have gotten involved with a fantastic campus ministry called Encounter. Wow! They are most certainly a ministry that gets it. The first night that I went to large group worship their purpose for the ministry as "helping you grow in Christ, so that in turn, others will see Christ through you." What better mission for a ministry? How simple, and yet so many times the church tries to come up with this crazy intricate idea of how to be the church. Just love God and love people. That is ultimately what they are consumed by. Great! :) We are getting ready to go on a group retreat to Little Galilee next weekend. I am so excited. I have already met so many people that are truly devoted to following hard after Christ, and I can't wait to develop deep relationships with them. Currently, we have started small groups and are studying David Crowder's book Praise Habit. Amazing. :) Basically, we are studying specific psalms and applying them to praise God in every waking moment of our lives instead of just at church, Bible study, etc. Definitely something I need to learn.

Classes are good. Some are better than others. I LOVE my Opera Practicum class. I get the privilege of performing duets from Wicked, my favorite musical ever!:) That has definitely been fun. I am also starting to babysit on Friday nights from 4-9. Not bad, and it will pay for my voice lessons. I am actually looking forward to it so much. I miss kids. Since I babysat for 8 hours a day during the summer, now I am having withdrawal. :)

Umm...that is my college life in a nutshell. Oh yeah, one more very important thing. I am going to my first Cubs/Cards game on Saturday with Justin (ask me about him in person...too much to tell on here...haha). Yay!!!

God's protection

Recently, I have been having troubles with my car overheating. I am not sure whether the antifreeze is leaking or what, but that past couple of weeks it has overheated twice. Anyway, on my way to a show last night, my dad called and warned me to watch the temperature guage because it was so hot outside. I watched it all the way to Springfield, and it was fine. No worries. Well, it turns out that my youth minister and his wife came to see the show last night and they invited me to go to Steak and Shake afterwards with them. At first, I wasn't sure I was going to go because I knew that my parents get concerned with me driving home late at night and I was exhausted from being a camp counselor the past couple of days. Ashley (my ym's wife) said that they would follow me home, and she would even ride with me if I wanted her to. I decided to go with them. We had a great time and stayed there way too late. :) As we left for Taylorville, I wasn't even paying attention to the temperature guage and when we got to Rochester only 5 minutes after leaving, it was clear up into the "H" region. It started beeping at me to warn me, so I pulled off the of highway. Luckily, Andy knows quite a bit about cars and he helped me push it to the side of the road and checked it out. Unfortunately, there was no antifreeze whatsoever, so we had to leave there. Anyway, I rode home with them in there car, and my dad picked up my car this morning. All is well again. :) Anyway, last night as soon as this happened on the highway at 1:30 am. I realize how blessed I was to have the two of them with me. God definitely knew what he was doing last night. I have spent this entire summer driving back and forth to Springfield and I have never had someone follow me, but Ashley "just so happened" to offer and I took them up on it. Very cool stuff. I wrote in my last blog that it is scary to know that I am not in control, but it is times like these that make me feel so comforted to know that God IS in control.

Life is a gift

Life is a gift; we aren't guaranteed the next minute. How many times have I heard that, yet I still don't grasp it. On Monday night, while I was at camp, my dad had a mini stroke. Let me first of all say that he is fine. However, it did scare all of us quite a bit. Apparently, he lost the peripheral vision in his right eye and my mom discovered (through the wonderful internet....haha) that that was a symptom of a mini stroke. So, much to my dad's chagrin, she made him go to the emergency room. Turns out that that was a wise decision. The doctor said that a mini stroke is basically a stroke that corrects itself throughout its course; however, many times it is followed by a full stroke. Anyway, luckily they went to the emergency room and the doctors gave my dad lots of good medication.:) For the past few days and the days to come he has had and will have several tests to make sure that everything is still okay. When I came home from camp, I was shocked to hear all of this news. It is still so unbelievable to me to find out that someone who seems so healthy on the outside, internally could have a battle raging. It is scary to realize that we are not in control of our lives. I know, however, that God does know what is going on, but it is still a shocking realization that our life is not guaranteed for any amount of time. So, I guess once again this just reinforces that I need to cherish every moment that I have on earth and make the most of every opportunity because I don't know how much time any of us has left. I would really appreciate your prayers for my dad right now too. Hopefully all these tests go well!

More Oklahomaness -- Chasing after the wind

Just got back from opening night at the Springfield Muni. Great show. Good crowd (despite the massive heat wave). I had a lot of fun. Live audiences are good; after the months of rehearsal, they are also sometimes surprising. There were several times that I had either thought the line wasn't funny or had forgotten the line was funny, and I was totally stunned to hear them laugh. But, as always, it is encouraging to know that you are entertaining them. This summer has been a very good learning experience for me. Because I have only done shows at church or school, I have never actually been just in the chorus. This show has been so much fun! When you don't have the larger responsibility of being a lead you get to visit with people a lot more and develop relationships (which is what it's all about and is so much fun). One thing that I thought was funny was that despite my rather small stage time, I still felt like I had a significant role in the show. Everytime I had a dance number, line, or solo, or whatever, I really wanted to make it good because I felt like it was a really integral part of the show. Turns out, I guess I was thinking a little higher of myself than I ought. :) Not that my role wasn't important to the show, but to the audience, I was not a major factor. That was where I learned this evening. I tend to get this idea in my head that I am the center of the universe and that everyone should be watching me. Like, "Tah dah! Here I am! It's the Kelsey Coker Show!" Where I got that idea, I don't know, but it is definitely not the case. I am well aware of that. Unfortunately though, my pride sometimes gets the best of me and that attitude tends to creep in. I felt awkward tonight after the show when my parents, Vickie, and Nikki were the only ones there that even cared that I was in the show. In high school shows, the whole audience knows you, and of course, as a result, you get lots of "Good jobs" and pats on the back. This however was much different. To only be noticed by a meager four (very important nonetheless) people was hard. As I reflect on the, I guess you'd call it, disappointment I felt after the show, it saddens me. I am now recognizing that I do alot of what I do for the accolade of people. Too bad it doesn't matter one ounce in the kingdom. Too bad, the accolade doesn't last. As soon as the show is over, people move on and they forget, and we are left floundering trying to find the next thing to gain their attention and approval again. Like Solomon said, it becomes a chase after the wind. It all seems so silly. Hmmm...

Oklahoma Hallelujah

I just got back from rehearsal tonight. Wow! It went sooooo well. If opening night goes this well, I will be nothing short of elated. I got all of my costume changes during the dream ballet (thanks to two extraordinary costume change helpers!), the dances were flawless, and the small audience we had was VERY encouraging. I am really looking forward to opening night especially since tomorrow's rehearsal has been cancelled! Tonight went well, so our director decided to let us have one night this week before opening night that we don't have to get home at 1 in the morning. Thank heavens! I have been so mentally and physically exhausted this week, I needed a break. I am so thrilled about tonight's rehearsal and can't wait to have a real audience on Friday. Audiences are so vital to performing! They are the reason you have been working for months on end. You are entertaining them. I get so much excitement and joy just from hearing the audience laugh because of something I said or how I said it. It is so much fun. I am also really looking forward to having lots of family, church family, and friends come see the show. This show has pretty much consumed my whole summer, so I am anxious to show them what I have been working on this whole time, and why I have had to tell them, "Sorry, I can't. I have rehearsal," so many times. Well, I guess that is about it for my exciting life. Have a beautiful morning (and rest of the day for that matter)!

Meaningful Worship

On the long jaunt to Springfield every night for well, this whole summer, I have enjoyed listening to WLUJ which for the most part consists of nightly sermons. Recently, Dr. David Jeremiah has been speaking about true worship. One illustration he used really struck me. He spoke of a deacon that had died and gone to heaven. As the deacon stood before an angel, they both looked down upon a worship service on earth. The angel explained the events of the scene, however, the deacon was still confused. "Where is the volume? There is no audio. I see that they are singing, but I can't hear anything." The angel replied, "Oh yes, I forgot to tell you....Up here we only hear genuine, heart-felt worship. What you are witnessing is outward worship, but not worship of the heart. That is why you don't hear anything."

Ouch! I guess I had never really thought of my unfocused worship in that light before. God truly doesn't hear anything. If my heart is not right, and I am not truly focused on surrendering my all before his throne, he doesn't hear a single note. How often have I stood in his house, singing along with the praise band, but not truly meaning the words? How many times have a stood singing a song aloud trying to find a pretty harmony note instead of focusing on the One I am singing for? It doesn't matter how melodically pleasing I make those songs if my heart isn't in it. Just some food for thought...

Little Children

This morning I spent a few hours babysitting a three-year- old, Loren Paul. Wow! What energy! People sometimes tell me I have too much, but they obviously haven't spent enough time around a preschooler. Regardless, Loren and I spent about the first hour playing a classic game in his backyard: hide-and-seek. He loved the thrill of searching for a while, and suddenly discovering me right under his nose. He would shrill with laughter each time he stumbled upon me. One time in particular, I found an unusually good hiding spot, and he searched for minutes to no avail. After these minutes continued ticking by, Loren started to get a little antsy. He called out for me, "Kelsey? Kelsey?" Each time he called his tone became a little more concerned. As I sat in my hiding spot, I contemplated whether to call out to him to tell him where I was or not. I didn't want to ruin the joy of him finding me, but I also couldn't bear to watch him become frantic as he couldn't find me. Right before the tears started to come and the panic began to set in, he frantically looked around one last time, and what did he see? ME! He ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug he could muster and said, "Oh Kelsey, I thought you left me!" and I said "Loren Paul, I would NEVER do that. I was just hiding from you waiting for you to come find me, and you did!" We both cheered, laughed, hugged again, and continued on with our game.

As we played today, I began to realize how God sometimes plays hide-and-seek with us. Of course, He NEVER leaves us, but at times he may not be as evident as He once was. But, just like Loren, if we continue to seek him out will all of our hearts, we will undoubtedly find him (Jer. 29:13). In fact, after those times when we have to search more intently, our joy is intensified when we do find him. We come to a realization of our dependency on him, and we enter his kingdom with the spirit of a little child.