More Oklahomaness -- Chasing after the wind

Just got back from opening night at the Springfield Muni. Great show. Good crowd (despite the massive heat wave). I had a lot of fun. Live audiences are good; after the months of rehearsal, they are also sometimes surprising. There were several times that I had either thought the line wasn't funny or had forgotten the line was funny, and I was totally stunned to hear them laugh. But, as always, it is encouraging to know that you are entertaining them. This summer has been a very good learning experience for me. Because I have only done shows at church or school, I have never actually been just in the chorus. This show has been so much fun! When you don't have the larger responsibility of being a lead you get to visit with people a lot more and develop relationships (which is what it's all about and is so much fun). One thing that I thought was funny was that despite my rather small stage time, I still felt like I had a significant role in the show. Everytime I had a dance number, line, or solo, or whatever, I really wanted to make it good because I felt like it was a really integral part of the show. Turns out, I guess I was thinking a little higher of myself than I ought. :) Not that my role wasn't important to the show, but to the audience, I was not a major factor. That was where I learned this evening. I tend to get this idea in my head that I am the center of the universe and that everyone should be watching me. Like, "Tah dah! Here I am! It's the Kelsey Coker Show!" Where I got that idea, I don't know, but it is definitely not the case. I am well aware of that. Unfortunately though, my pride sometimes gets the best of me and that attitude tends to creep in. I felt awkward tonight after the show when my parents, Vickie, and Nikki were the only ones there that even cared that I was in the show. In high school shows, the whole audience knows you, and of course, as a result, you get lots of "Good jobs" and pats on the back. This however was much different. To only be noticed by a meager four (very important nonetheless) people was hard. As I reflect on the, I guess you'd call it, disappointment I felt after the show, it saddens me. I am now recognizing that I do alot of what I do for the accolade of people. Too bad it doesn't matter one ounce in the kingdom. Too bad, the accolade doesn't last. As soon as the show is over, people move on and they forget, and we are left floundering trying to find the next thing to gain their attention and approval again. Like Solomon said, it becomes a chase after the wind. It all seems so silly. Hmmm...